Dave's News

Hamsterdunce on Facebook!

2009-12-06 20:12:50 by Dave


If you enjoy my new Hamsterdunce comics (there's already over 50 of them!), go ahead and become a FAN on the Hamsterdunce Facebook page!

See you there!

P.S. Retarded Animal Babies 22 has a script! :o)


Doritos commercial & webcomic

2009-11-10 13:45:11 by Dave


First and foremost, I've got a new WEBCOMIC (featuring Hamster) called Hamsterdunce. You can find it on hamsterdunce.com and there's also a Hamsterdunce blog where you can leave comments. It's only been going on for a few weeks, go show it some love!

In other news...

Do you remember a time long, long ago when I got all whore-y and made a commercial for a beer company, and won a contest with it? Well that was six years ago... time to put my fuck-me pumps on and strut down 42nd street again for a new trick!

This time it's for Doritos... and once again the Animal Babies are all in there. And this time, there's a chance they'll be on national TV, right in a goddamn Superbowl commercial!

DORITOS CRASH THE SUPERBOWL - Dave's Entry: "The Animator"

Go on over there, register and leave a nice comment! Just do me a solid and maybe keep the goddamn fucking swearing down & no mentioning of "Retarded Animal Babies" in case that thwarts the judges (who knows with this stuff)... If this commercial shows up during the Superbowl I could end up a dang millionaire, giving me much more time to make new RAB episodes which is really what everyone wants (except for those of you with any taste).

Anyway, if "The Animator" becomes a finalist, I'll be pestering you again for a vote on January 5th... for now you just sorta look at all the thousands of entries and waste time.

And yeah, the video is kind of jaggy. It's a problem with their player. My submission was much better & I'll probably stick it in my YouTube channel eventually.

Thanks everyone!


Wacom Cintiq vs. traditional light table?

2009-06-05 21:29:08 by Dave

So the other day I was taping my old plastic, sloped light table to the top of my air conditioner outside, to keep the rain from pounding on it too loudly. It has been three years since I've needed it, seeing as how I've been using this extravagant & huge 21" Wacom Cintiq tablet to animate (you can see me using it at the end of RAB19. I haven't ever looked back, because it is a very practical, useful, and sexy thing to work with.

Gone are the days where I had to draw on paper first, with a damn pencil. I would be inking, scanning, vectorizing, coloring, and importing artwork into Flash, all before actually assembling everything together into a RAB episode. Now I just draw the shit RIGHT IN FLASH, allowing for a better line quality, easier quick-fixes if an arm or eyeball or testicle is out of place, and greater control over the animation process itself.

It has made the quality about 500% better.

However, it has NOT exactly made the process 500% quicker! Oh, sure, it seems like a more elegant workflow now that I'm not having to go through all the crapola that went with the light table (here's an old "Behind-the-Scenes" thing on YouTube, filmed in 2004 around the time RAB5 was getting made). But let's face it... I was unemployed in 2003 and cranking out a new RAB episode every single week. And now, even though the episodes are only about 3-5 times as long, they're taking ALL FUCKING YEAR.


I hear the pleas of RAB fans asking WHY, WHY, WHY THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT TAKING SO LONG? FINISH RAB21 ALREADY! Because... FUCK. I started this episode back in January, and have been working on it, on and off, EVER SINCE. And it's still only about 85% done. AND I'M UNEMPLOYED AGAIN SO I SHOULD REALLY BE KICKING ASS ON IT, YA KNOW?

Well, I think the problem is that since better quality is possible, I've been really kind of getting into actually employing that quality. Check out RAB1, 2, and 3 again, and compare that to the kinds of shit going on in RAB 17-20 (the post-DVD Cintiq episodes), and you'll see a lot more hardcore animating in there.

The OTHER major issue is that I had a real routine back in the day, and I don't think I do now. There were little 2-3 day long production processes back in the pre-'05 days, and as these baby steps were scientifically taken, I was able to get into "the zone" more fluidly. But working 100% within Flash from sketch to finished, lipsynced animation is more of a mental GLOM. All one, big, horrifyingly complicated process which causes a lot of hours staring slackjawed at the screen.

There's a third minor issue... back in the wayback I would rape older episodes of art resources a lot more often. Donkey and Hamster heads are about the only things that ever get re-purposed from older episodes; Cat, Bunny, and Puppy almost always get new heads & bodies drawn for every single scene they're in. That's a lot more custom art going on than before, and when added to the average length of episodes plus the lack of an efficient, assembly-line type of workflow, well... you've got yourself a year-long waiting period between RAB episodes!

So bear with me... it's obviously all about quality (such as it is, when compared to greater works from my superior peers [i.e. pretty much all of you]) versus quantity these days.

I'm leaving for a 3-week road trip on July 11th, culminating in a Vegas wedding for me & my hot fiancee. You can bet your ass RAB21 will be done before I leave, probably LONG before I leave!

Thanks for your patience! It will be worth it, I promise. This one's pretty over-the-top, and digs back into my 2003 roots for humor at times.

Dave on Twitter

2009-04-02 14:21:15 by Dave

Hi there...

I plan on adding lots of updates on Twitter for anyone interested in what I ate for breakfast, new YouTube videos I've posted, and *of course* how RAB21 is progressing (that's probably 99.99% of you). It's slow going, naturally, but I'm back to freelancing again so hopefully production on it and new RAB films (or maybe something completely different, who knows) will be speedier in the future.

Until then...



Retarded Animal Babies 21?

2009-01-26 11:30:42 by Dave

Yes, it will happen. Maybe not particularly SOON... but it will happen. A script idea is getting mapped out, and mental images are coming into focus.

Stay tuned & thanks for your patience and continued support...


Retarded Hibernating Babies

2008-11-13 13:42:10 by Dave

Long ago, on a cold March morning, I uploaded the 20th Retarded Animal Babies flick to Newgrounds.com. This was the first & only officially sponsored Newgrounds.com production, and one which took about 8 days of vacation time to pull off in time for Easter.

Ever since then, I have sorely wanted to figure out what the full version of "RAB21 - The Red Erection" might be. It's teased at the end of RAB20, and I'd like to somehow build on it. The four-dimensionally Klein-bottled logic employed in regards to continuity for this series has actually become a character in its own right. Am I the only one who thinks it's hilarious to make the concept of continuity itself into a character in some ways? Yeah? OK, fine.

Then I thought changing one letter and making it "The Red Election," or just simply "Erection Day" would be sooo fucking booyah & get some Obama/McCain/Palin/Biden humor going on. I just didn't have time or energy to work on it, period. Plus, I'm about as good a political satirist as I am a neurosurgeon, which is to say, I'm suckass at it. We're all much better off when I stick to animating things like Boobie Dragons. So the premise gave way to "electile dysfunction" as it was abandoned.

So here we go into 2009 without a thought in my mind what to do about the series. I must say that while working on Flash games (such as today's uploaded "Splatris" game... go check it out!) all day for Left Brain Games, there is no fucking way I can spend even five minutes in Flash when I get home at the end of the day. So alas, the unemployed miscreant that was doling out new RAB episodes every other week has been vanquished by a card-carrying member of taxpaying society, relegated to getting up at 7:00AM every day, driving a wheeled coffin to a cubed coffin, and counting the painful minutes until I can go home and watch a Netflix.

Or more likely, go to a band practice! I'm in three bands these days which is exhausting and exhilarating. Not sure who would possibly care except for my YouTube channel subscribers, but I am a die hard synthesizer freak. That Donkey keytar-playing shit in RAB11 & RAB20 comes from a very real place.

Ramble over... guess I didn't really answer any questions here about RAB21, did I? Let's just leave it that I really, really want to make one, and I will when 1) a suitably good idea hits me, and 2) I have the time and energy. Neither of those two things seem likely at all any time soon. RAB may well have had its day (a five-year-long day) in the sun, in which case RAB17-20 will be all internet-only doodads (i.e. no DVD will be made for them).

But look on the bright side. Maybe LBG will fire me someday & I'll be forced to crank out RAB episodes every bit as fast as I crank out semen to sell. Until then, I'll see if I can upload some of the more decent games I've made on the job.

Thanks for the continued support, Newgroundsers.



RAB & Garmin shenanigans!

2008-05-20 23:22:23 by Dave

Hey! Do you know anyone who's got one of them there fancy-ass Garmin navigator GPS doodads? Maybe you yourself even have one in your car. Well, if ya DO, wouldn't you like Hamster from RAB to actually be in the damn thing, as a custom 3D avatar, driving around in a white Lamborghini Countach go-kart?!

I thought you would!

So.... you might just have to check out Garmin's new contest & vote for me... I'm a finalist. The winner gets their avatar concept as a downloadable custom avatar for all time. That's right, you can make sure Hamster smears up Garmin with delicious chocolatey go-kart skidmarks by simply GOING HERE and selecting "Jamster" as your pick of the litter. You can only cote once, but you can also tell your friends to vote too!

Thanks for your vote...


RAB turns five!

2008-04-06 12:31:18 by Dave

Just looked at the calendar, and realized that RETARDED ANIMAL BABIES turned 5 fucking years old today. Crustulating cuntflaps, that's a long time!

The past five years have been very eventful... to say the LEAST... and it surprises me as I sit here, to think about how I was still able to squeeze in the production of 20 RAB flix and two DVDs while dealing with everything else that's happened along the way. So today I'll make myself another shiny shit cake and celebrate all the filth I've managed to fling at you. RAB fans are devoted, supportive, perverted freaks & I count every one of them as a blessing...

Thanks for watchin'...

--Dave :o)

RAB20! Hooray!

2008-03-17 14:21:19 by Dave

Hello from beautiful, sunny, and exhaustingly cold Connecticut, USA. I've been up all night finishing up the final touches of RAB20 to comfortably make my self-imposed Monday mornin' deadline. I hope everyone enjoys this episode as much as the others & gets a kick out of all the various loose ends I attempt to tie up in this sweeping epic.

I thought I'd use this new flick as an excuse to post a general reply to a lot of the FAQs I get in my Newgrounds inbox on a semi-daily basis. Of course the biggest questions are about where RAB9 and RAB16 are, and it's a question one can only answer so many times over the years before feeling like a broken record. By now I'm sure you all know these two episodes are what makes the DVD something purchase-worthy; sticking everything online free of charge is just bad business. I have also put the first nine episodes, including the elusive RAB9, for sale as downloadable iPod-friendly MP4 files in my rough + ramshackle little Kagi shop too, for only a buck each. So now RAB9 is "practically" free, at least.

The next big question is "when is the next RAB coming out." I never know when installments will get made, and half the time I can't even tell you if they'll get made AT ALL. What I can tell you is that there is now another decent half hour of RAB material that's been made since the latest DVD (i.e. RAB17 - RAB20), and while that's not bad, it's also not enough to call a "second collection" for a 2nd DVD release. So basically, if I ever want to put out another DVD, I'm going to have to make more films.

When RAB first started, I was out of work, and had time & brain cells to BURN. I could just take three weeks & make an 11-minute episode like RAB5 without losing a minute of sleep. Now I've got to take off a week of precious vacation time (better spent on a white sandy beach, thanks) from my day job (making Flash) to work MORE (also in Flash?!), plus blow at least 4-5 weekends and DOZENS of hours of sleep to crank out one of these monstrous 200-hour productions! I'm not complaining at all because the resultant product is always its own reward (and not to mention an occasional sponsorship by Newgrounds which certainly helps), as well as all the good feedback from you guys. I'm just saying it's like pulling teeth sometimes, and certainly not something I can do more than 2-3 times per year (perhaps not even that often).

Here's another one: "How come your newer ones aren't as good as your old ones?" Or better yet, "it doesn't seem like you're putting in the effort." Heh... well, how it might seem is beyond my control of course, but believe me, each production seems to take longer than the last. I also work much harder on the scripts to keep things fresh. All I can say is that I am doing my very best, and every time I lose a fan, I seem to gain two new ones. I can live with that with no regrets!

Get a load of this one. "Are you really rich?" No, lads, no. In 1998 I would have been, yes. But today is the age of reason, gas money, and hard-ass work. RAB has been on TV twice; once for an overnight show on the BBC (for which I got completely stiffed of the $1200 they were going to pay), and G4TV for the "Happy Tree Friends and Friends" show, which amounted to about a hundredth what a normal TV show gets. The Weird Al video I did for my usual paycheck & a shiny gold record. Cool, but not "I'm gonna retire tomorrow" wealth. I also merely self-distribute my DVDs for a show with the word "retarded" right in the title. I can't even get posters distributed because of that damn word. But ah, it's that magical title that got me this far. So the only green RAB has brought me (and shall ever bring me) is the color of my skin when I get sick to my stomach thinking about this shit. So there you go... still wanna shoot for being a big-time internet animator? Or maybe hit those books instead? Choose wisely!

Here's a really super one: "When are you going to stop making those fuckin' YouTube videos and Daily Comics and just make the next RAB already?" This can roughly be translated as "WHERE'S MY FIDDLER'S THREE!" or perhaps "YOU THERE! SHINE MY FEET IMMEDIATELY!" :o) There are a lot of creative people that look forward to a time in their lives when they're receiving fan mail for the art they love to do. But something to remember is that most of the mail comes from demanding little shits that have decided they are going to tell you what's best (at least for THEM) to do with your time. Believe it or not, all your favorite actors, musicians, artists, and everyone else with a creative job... these people have hobbies too. So the next time one of you tells me I should be spending every waking moment on RAB, I'll counter-suggest that they spend every waking moment doing their homework, flipping their burgers, crunching numbers, sucking cock, or whatever other professional responsibilities they have, every single second they're awake. Shitty proposition, eh? I think so. Anyway, variety is the spice of life. If you really want more RAB films, it can't happen if I'm burnt out and/or suicidal. Thus, the side projects.

Speaking of variety, very very occasionally I'll get directed by fans of my other art shits to QUIT RAB and try something different. Let me tell you, there are many days when nothing would please me more. I love my little RAB characters & will always have new & different ideas for them, but it would be nice to dust off some of my other characters (Sci-Fi Guys especially) and take them out for a stroll again. But I must admit that I have serious doubts that I will ever primarily be anything but "the RAB guy." I mean... fuck. I could go out and cure cancer tomorrow, but my grave in 50 years will still just say "here liez the RAB guy LOL". You know it & I know it. So I dunno.

"What is Weird Al like in person." I've only met him twice backstage at concerts. I was work for hire and am not his bestest friend. He is tremendously generous with his time though & usually replies to emails that I send him. He also never sweats. He was wearing a VELOUR SHIRT after a concert last year... a show which lasted two hours under hot, roasting lights. And yet Al smelled like a fresh spring day. He's magical like Jesus. He's also very funny every second of the day. Some people are just like that. Meanwhile I can be a really cranky asshole which is probably why I can't keep a woman in my life.

Heh... sorry, too much info there? I guess that cleanly answers "hey man do you get lots of chicks when you're King of the Portal?" Not likely, unless you're a slammin' 30-ish single Connecticut chick with a hot rack reading this right now & getting ready to contact me for a free beej in the back of your car.

Yours truly,


"The Fucking Fucker" is now a $5000 guitar amp

2008-01-16 13:25:54 by Dave

Retarded Animal Babies fans might get a chuckle out of a brand new $5000 Metasonix guitar amp announced today called, of all things, the Fucking Fucker.

I personally provided a dozen and a half drawings of Puppy for it, cock'n'balls and all. More notable is the bright yellow 3" by 20" front nameplate, featuring 21 nude models pleasuring Puppy's enormous, hose-like cock exactly 56 different ways, weaving its way in, through, and out all their mouths, vaginas & assholes (and a few other holes too, not to mention boob-fuckin' and a few fists and toes). I wish I'd made it 23 nudes instead, one for each of the 23 VACUUM TUBES inside this beast. If you've ever learned anything about amps, this is serious shit.

Anyway, check out the page over at Metasonix & see the amp for yourself. There's a link towards the bottom of the page which takes you to a hi-res image, too!