Dave's News

About that monthly award...

2007-12-17 12:09:53 by Dave

... I just wanted to say, simply, THANKS for voting for RAB19 in November.

There will be a RAB20, by the way... (how could there not be?). I'm leaning towards early springtime for it, and have something vaguely written already. RAB turns FIVE YEARS OLD around that time, too, so I suppose I should make it something truly special & momentous. I never really know what it will be until after it's animated though. Keeps shit fresh. And shitty!

Don't forget to check out umop.com for regular updates on the goings-on of all things RAB, my new Daily Comic, and other crap you might actually care about if you're bored/lobotomized/etc.


Buy RAB9 for only $1

2007-10-29 20:16:52 by Dave


I'm happy to announce that RAB 9 (Retarded Animal Babies episode 9), while still not available free online (unless stolen, of course!), is now available for sale for a measly $1, right here in my Kagi shop!

It's important that some episodes remain "out there," only available for a price, even if a tiny one. I need to figure out some way, any way, to get some kind of registerable income from making RAB toons. RAB19 has taken 7 months to complete (and it's almost ready, I do promise), and for what reason? Simple. That's how LONG it takes to create something this big, when it's something you don't have time to make. Either that or I'm just not on enough drugs.

I'm just as sad as any RAB fan that my rent-paying day job (I create game artwork for corporate clients) takes away so much time and energy that there's nothing left for my true passion: writing and animating original films for your free consumption here on Newgrounds. Nothing will allow that to happen unless RAB can become my rent-payer.

YOU CAN HELP by buying up a DVD as a gift for somebody for the holidays... or now, dropping a dollar, downloading RAB9, and counting yourself as one among a tiny handful of folks who've gotten to actually see it. It's a funny little episode. Puppy's fucking ridiculous in it.

If sales are good, I'll upload ALL my other episodes (yes, even RAB16) for $1 each, too. I could make some future new episodes for sale too, using brand new FREE episodes here on Newgrounds to promote them. I win, Newgrounds wins, and most importantly, YOU DO. The only people who lose are the ones who hate RAB films (i.e. anyone with any taste at all).

Thanks for your support! Now GO GIT RAB 9!!


P.S. I'm making daily comics on umop.com... go check them out!

P.P.S. Hey! They only take about 15-20 minutes to work on, so no, they haven't been responsible for preventing RAB films from getting made quicker. THOSE things take about 150 hours! Were I to only spend 15 minutes per day on RAB, the films would end up being biannual! :o)

Hi all,

Retarded Animal Babies 19 *will* get done within the next 3-4 weeks. There's a lot of boobs in it so I'm really taking my time with those.

In the meantime, I've YouTubed an old 2003 video I made (live action) of a Behind-the-Scenes look into RAB. Specifically, I was working on RAB5 at the time. The video is right here. I had a lot more hair back then... a LOT more... Anyway, you can see this video on my CD-ROM (now THERE'S an obscure, olden times format!), but since that's a fairly out-of-date product (only has RAB1 thru RAB8 on it), I figured I'd upload the vid separately elsewhere for your endurement.

Also, starting around a month ago, I've been posting daily comic strips on my umop.com homepage, to get more traffic to the site. Spread the word & drop by every day!

One last thing. In my continued efforts to make RAB a full-time job (as opposed to a hobby I never have time to work on), what do you guys think about my selling RAB9 for $1 on umop.com? I'm very curious to hear your feedback about this. Is that buck going to make you hate me? And can most of you use something like Paypal for that? I'm still working on setting all this up, but I'll keep all your suggestions in mind in the meantime.



RAB19... where it's at

2007-08-30 10:59:23 by Dave

Hey gangz...

I get a daily stream of emails about the whereabouts of the next Retarded Animal Babies film. Without excessively pounding my excuse pud too much, I'll just say that it's being scripted today, based on a story concept that's just... fucked.

Originally, I wanted to have a Back-to-School type of installment ready by, like, NOW, and I even have a script ready for something like that, but its scripted ending was just... MEH. Also, it was actually written a couple of years ago ('twas going to be something like RAB13 I think), and a lot of the humor in it is dated already. RAB has gone in strange & unusual directions since then, so this particular script either needs complete re-tooling or (an easier propect) to be scrapped entirely.

The idea I'm instead going ahead with is much, much... well, I don't want to say "better," but... more in the vein of where today's RAB is at, y'know?

Previous installments have been done through my day-job company Left Brain Games (acting as a silent partner), but future ep's will have to be produced on my own. This means I can't do anything during normal work hours. And you know what THAT means? Nights and weekends, baby.

But hey, look on the bright side. I broke off my engagement a couple of months ago, meaning I'm a single, lonely dumbass again with plenty of time (and my own Johnson) on my hands. So hopefully this next one won't take too long. Can't say exactly when of course. They aren't the easiest things to bang out any more...


King of the Portal

2007-08-06 23:45:50 by Dave

I just wanted to say to anyone reading my user page this month... how cool it is to Reign Supreme in this orange-and-grey empire of filth, frivolity, friends and family (hmm... who can help me out with another F-word here?). I'm honored and only wish I could have (finally) attended Comic Con this year to shake some hands.

I promise I will do everything in my power to go next year & bring a shitload of free DVDs... but that means I'll need to reserve a hotel room RIGHT NOW because those bitches fill up fast. They probably already have, actually.

But I'm getting off-track.

My Portal Kingship is, frankly, undeserved, because it's only been the weekly uploads of my old Sci-Fi Guys toons, and a tepidly-received RAB game, that allowed me to upload 5 higher-than-average-rated files in one month. So I salute all the submitters that actually created a multiple amount of *brand new* stuff this month that also got high ratings... all the Portal Princes and Princesses and Dukes and Knights and, uh, Rooks... shit, I ran out of titles. Drunk again, sorry.

But I definitely am very happy. These Sci-Fi Guys films were, after all, my first! And 2000-2001, when I made them, was such a long, long time ago. Some of you were still shitting your sheets back then... and the standards for quality have gotten increasingly intimidating ever since. To have successfully competed on this level with an old product strokes me big time.

And in all seriousness, I plan on using all this prestige to get laid every single day. Oh come on, like you wouldn't. It's either that or just write drunken, rambling posts on Newgrounds and go shit my sheets for old times sake.


Flip around in the ByteSize Player today & you'll finally understand the end of book six of Harry Potter with a new 20-second film... featuring the Retarded Animal Babies! It's just a little nugget... very fun to work on... I really like tiny projects like this & want to do more if I can!

Tom also put together a brand new COLLECTION PAGE for Sci-Fi Guys today. Thanks Tom!


2007-07-24 11:26:44 by Dave

Today's upload of the tenth and second-to-last installment of Sci-Fi Guys is definitely the most brazen one. It's nothing compared to Retarded Animal Babies as far as nudity (it's kind of hard to top a "death by titfuck" scene, after all), but it's sort of the missing link between my more family-friendly shit and my cum-guzzling dickfests that RAB tend to be.

A lot of people are asking me if I intend on watering down RAB to make it more sellable. In other words, do I plan on selling out? The short answer is NO. The easiest reason I can't and won't sell out regarding the content of RAB is that I may not even have TIME to make a RAB film more than once per year the rate I'm going (although I still have no intention of quitting the series), so the graphic language and nudity and drug use and kitten-raping and nun-fucking would be done almost as a celebration of the fact that I'm finally getting to make a RAB film! I'm so happy when I have a chance to make one, I just want to fill it up with every last drop of brain semen I can muster.

But the biggest reason is because RAB lets me get this sort of boobie bullshit out of my system while keeping me out of trouble.

RAB has been, and always shall be, my own personal artistic smut siphon. An outlet to pour all my evil thoughts into an animation, so I wouldn't ever feeled compelled to put career-damaging subliminal messages into other works I make for paying clients from time to time. Imagine what Weird Al would have had done to me, if he ever found an Easter Egg in the Virus Alert video which turns him into a vagina monster or something. RAB gets that shit right out of my system (the vagina monster, for example, can be seen in RAB16 on the DVD), leaving everything else in my life safe and secure.

You need an outlet, boys and girls. Get that depravity out of your brain in harmless ways. If you're lucky enough to have a sex partner willing to help you out there someday, fantastic then. If you can draw a straight line and want to dump your load into a cartoon like I do, I would certainly understand that too. Just get it out of your system before you're in your fifties & you're a crazy fucking pervert flashing your withered, graying junk at people in the subway.


With the upload of the Sci-Fi Guys episodes (created in 2001 and 2002) just about complete, and their collection page in the works, a few dozen or so of you are probably wondering if I'll be submitting Retarded Animal Babies 19 to the Portal any time soon. The answer depends heavily on whether you can accept the definition of "soon" in the context of a galactic scale. I've got a couple decent ideas and at least one completed script, but the next couple months are looking just a bit too tight.

I do have a little RAB game in development as I write this, and it should be up and running within days.

More good news (for me anyway) is that I'm working on a secret TV pilot project which could turn into something very huge. It's not based on any of my own ideas or characters, but I am animating the whole damned thing. The really awful news is that I'll be squandering precious vacation time to work on it. I should really, really be spending it on a beach somewhere in an effort to keep myself from jumping in front of a moving train. I haven't had a vacation in five years, and could very easily punch a baby these days.

In the middle of all this, I'm being forced to relocate now too! I'll be needing to find a place in CT by the middle of August, and move all my crap there. This will be my tenth move in about as many years, and I really ain't happy about it. Wouldn't just be a hoot if the TV thing exploded and I had to move (yet again) another week or two later to LA? Yah. Tee to the Hee.