Dave's movie Reviews on Newgrounds

[Blueberry]

Ending ideas for YOU!

Just take an hour or two to make an ending, and update your .swf in the submission. Possible ideas:

1) Pie is cooked... fade out on pie. Everyone loves pie.
2) Oven explodes & cafe burns to the ground.
3) Truck crashes through window of cafe before pie finishes.
4) Pie transforms into giant robot
5) Pie is served to starving children... everyone's holding hands & it's a fucking Benetton ad from the late -'80s
6) Pie gets thrown in cameras face for a nice SPLAT! ending
7) Jason Schwartzman has sex with pie - obviously
8) Pie is eaten by some lady. It's crapped out & eventually fertilizes new blueberry trees. It's the goddamned circle of life, Simba
9) Blueberries weren't blueberries; they were poisonous unripened nightshade berries and everybody in the diner dies.
10) The blueberries are all little Earths and George W. Bush is the baker. He eats the pie and shits out a fountain of crude oil afterwards. OK, so this one might take more like three hours to animate...

Anyway, good art style.

[PAPU's Smashing Holiday]

Proud to earn this "protection point."

Proud to support Xeth for another submission on Newgrounds. Maybe now that you've dusted off Papü for another installment, maybe we can see a new Bulbo animation again sometime soon! Happy Hannukah, Feinberg. You're the Feinbergiest...

[The Ultimate Showdown]

Great song!

Kudos to Trapezoid for the catchy, fun song.

Otherwise...fartistically tepid. A is for effort though. For homegrown fare it's well above average. But what the fuck do I know, it's the most popular thing here. Clearly I need to re-assess my standards and watch the whole thing again.

Or just take a mayonnaise bath. Which would the rational person do?

altffour responds:

I'm trying, and considering how long I've been in this crazy flash game, I'm sure I will improve with time.

[Sesame Street Unleashed]

The Best.

I have seen a lot of crap, but this is the best crap I've ever seen. Insanely funny...very good timing. Very good job, you sick little muppet, you. A+, 5, 10!

boinky33 responds:

Holy shit, thanks. I love your stuff, so this means alot to me.

[The Four Seasons]

Tip

When fading to and from white, tween a white rectangle (alpha) over the entire image instead of tweening all the individual symbols. This will keep the "ghosting effect" from happening.

[Evil Josh & Billy: Ep. 03]

TEH

Nice!!!!

Very good comedic timing. Overall kinda dippy but hey, I laughed a lot so WTF. YOU WIN!

[The Wrong Vagina]

BAH.

The nerve! The opulence!

Forcing me to sit slack-jawed through this ten-minute marble-mouthed blitzkrieg of blithering bilge! Not a chuckle! Nary a titter! Well, perhaps a bit of chortling, then, at least? NAY!!

Dirty, wish-I-was-Japanese style once again makes a spectacle of the latest craze towards mainstream teenage corner-cutting. I'd say it was a waste of time, but shit man, what else did these stunted, unfortunate crackers have to do this afternoon?

(insert more meaningless, pointlessly personal attacks here)

How did this toon get so popular? Simple...they stuck the word "vagina" in the title. Anyone who sinks so low as to arbitrarily stick an obviously offensive word in the title of their online Flash toons to get more attention deserves a hearty mouthful of strenuously used cat litter.

Signed, the creator of "Retarded Animal Babies."

--Dave

P.S. Just kidding. Way to go, milksuckers!

[The Runaway Cow!!!]

Hey, nice one.

It had a beginning, middle, and end. That alone puts it in the top ten-percentile!

Simple, entertaining, and occasionally covered in cow feces. I can ask for nothing more from you. Except, maybe, MORE COWBELL.

[Retarded Animal BabiesCE1]

Why 10? Because I'm a fucking egomaniac!

Hey, thanks for the stroke. It's great knowing people are spending their whole day working on something just to honor ME!

I ate Rice Krispies for breakfast today! Why do I deserve such honor???

And why did Pico shoot the hamster? Who's this tribute for, anyway? The hamster could SO take Pico. He are monk, for Chrissakes

TheComet responds:

Hahaha, I ate rice crispies too ;)
Anyways, thanks for the review. I'm probably going to go crazy and make a shizload of these, obviously I'll try my best to improve the gfx (I'm not the best, I'm best at audio and animation).
Thanks for the credit on your site also.

I kinda noticed myself this almost seems anti-hamster O.o...dont want anti-hamster, he's my fav RAB :) Can i get a .fla with your characters in it? (because I can't trace the .bmp screenshots I took...traces too many details...>.<, I lowere the # of corners and ease up on the sensitivity, and it blotches the chars face up...)

[Patriot Pig Number 1]

I laughed like a hyena

From the master Flash animator who brought us Bulbo for Hotwired + MondoMedia, Queer Duck for Shotime, and Hard Drinkin' Lincoln for Icebox and MTV, comes a masterful return to internet animating, and also, finally, to Newgrounds!

Anyone who doesn't laugh at these cartoons has one big pole up their keester. The timing is outrageous, the caricatures are spot-on Hollywood and over-the top, and there's even a little spoonfed and spoofed political awareness that even a 12-year-old can pick up on.

Keep 'em coming Xeth, and continue to school everyone with your six years of Flash animating experience. These toons are a slap in the face to most of those who would call themselves a professional animator.