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Dave
Hello! I've made over forty Flash films since 2000 for Fark, CampChaos, National Lampoon, "Weird Al" Yankovic, and of course, you fine folks right here on Newgrounds.

Dave @Dave

Age 54, Male

artist/animator

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West Hartford, CT

Joined on 4/6/03

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Retarded Animal Babies is TWENTY YEARS OLD!

Posted by Dave - April 5th, 2023


That's right, old timers...


I uploaded RAB1 back on April 6, 2003. Incredible! And yet... given how much things have changed, I can fully feel all twenty of the years that have elapsed since that innocent day. And it is hard to believe it could ever be called "innocent", given how rude it all was and still is.


The story... early March, 2003, 3AM. I wanted a Flash cartoon to siphon off the need to draw ass cracks 'n ball sacks as subliminal messages into certain "advergaming" projects (we really had no idea how to earn money from the internet back then!) I was commissioned to work on. I woke in the middle of the night to scrawl out a script on a napkin and went promptly back to sleep, only to wake the next day to read "A is for Ass, B is for Balls", etc., next to a few silly drawings of a puppy and a cat with huge, triangular noses. And the puppy had a grossly exaggerated nut sack. Perfect.


I thought, "well, that's retarded," because in 2003, that was OK. Thus, the title was set in stone, and after a sleepless, 29-hour animation session, the one-off was complete. I sat on it for a while, not knowing what to do with it. YouTube wasn't around yet, and the distribution company who bought my "Sci-Fi Guys" episodes had already shuttered. At the time, I was a huge fan of Neil Cicierega's "Animutations" here on Newgrounds, and while the site was replete with Hentai ads at the time, I figured it was a good a home as any to host RAB. So twenty years ago today, I started an account, and uploaded RAB. I closed the browser window (probably Explorer, heh), and slept for a dozen hours.


The next day, I had dozens of emails from Newgrounds users in my inbox. RAB made the homepage! It was #1 of all time! What the everlasting fuck?!


I went straight to the light board (I used real animation paper and pens back then) and popped out the singsong RAB2 within a week. RAB3 was next, introducing Satan to the crew for "Show and Hell". It was followed by an insanely complex, interactive RAB4 (the one with the TV remote featuring dozens of hidden "channels"), and the epic, 12-minute D&D short film, RAB5. I churned out a total of 23 episodes, but by 2011, I ran out of steam, was going through a bad marriage, and without even realizing it at the time, I hung it all up.


The real dealbreaker at the time is that I was working on a second RAB collection for Blu-Ray, but after only receiving five pre-orders, canceled the project. I never looked back after that.


Well, almost never. Last year, I had an idea to make something called "Retired Animal Babies". I thought it might have been neat to upload it today as a celebration of twenty years. I decided against it though, because 1) actually using Flash in 2023 would require a very slow old computer with the ability to actually open that program, and 2) I need to continue to distance myself professionally from RAB, since the "R word" is received almost as poorly as the "N word" these days. Oh man... "N-word Animal Babies" would have been so popular a hundred years ago in 1923. Good thing Flash wasn't around back then.


I hope you enjoyed marinating in nostalgia with me today, thinking back on those old, innocent-yet-offensive days. It's been a dozen years since RAB23 but I'll still get a few messages from people every year, hoping somehow it might someday return. I have a never say never attitude; I always have. So I think the best present I could give to these triangular-nosed characters is a promise not to lock the closed door.


--Dave

umop.com


51

Comments

Suggestion: Rename to just "Animal Babies"

There have been hundreds of suggestions, with this one being the most common. "Animal Babies" doesn't exactly inspire you to watch whatever it is... it's boring and flat. It certainly won't inspire me to fire up the old 2013 iMac (or learn Animate, which for me, would be even harder to do, lol).

"Just because I'm retarded doesn't mean I'm stupid" was such an inspirational quote to me

Dave, you damn g-word, I still have the DVD somewhere (”g” may stand for genius, genital, gooback or other potential future slur, the future will tell…).

I love RAB! Maybe rename it as “Psycho Animal Babies” if you plan to reeboot it.

@Anonymous-Frog @Dave How about renaming it to [RETRACTED] Animal Babies? The word not only sounds similar but it also gives the title some metahumor.

Not bad. There were a lot of title change suggestions over the years. The problem with this one is that it would require a contextual explanation. "Why is it called that?" "Because it used to be called 'retarded'." My idea of doing something called "Retired Animal Babies" would have at no point needed any referential explanation to the "R-word" because it would simply have been about the animals moving into a retirement home: they are rather old after all, inasmuch as they've been stuck in a 2003 time loop "continuity bubble" for trillions of years.

I think my favorite part of the pseudo-script that exists only in my head is this: at some point Puppy was going to say something was "retarded", and Cat was going to say "Puppy, I think it's time to retire that word." And that would be it. Not other reference at all to the other films, and we will have moved on. That moment alone is enough to tell me that I should at least consider making the film, even though I have zero free time to spend on it, or the hardware, software, or knowledge base to currently accomplish this.

Congratulations on your RABversary! I can't believe I watched the show more than half my life ago. Some of the quotes are burned into my memory forever. Occasionally I find myself unintentionally saying "have you ever seen THIS before" with that exact intonation. Also, whenever I hear a word that rhymes with 'lunch', 'ham salad is for lunch' automatically plays in my head. I don't know how you did it, but I enjoy it.

My friends and I laughed to tears back in the day to your content, thanks for the laughs and good memories

People now a days just demand to have "Mentally-Challenged Fauna Infants" rather than flat-out "Retarded Animal Babies". Also, congratulations on your cartoon reaching 20 years of existing!

@Spollywood @Dave Better, just get that stinky word outta my face!

Bring back Fark-Man. People still care about Fark, yeah?

If you could, maybe just use Adobe animate and recreate the flash style on it. (post it as a video only)

I was in elementary school watching RAB, which in hindsight was definitely way too young lmao. I've since went on to become a working animator, so I gotta say thanks Dave for being part of the 00's newgrounds scene that served as some of my earliest inspirations and for all the laughs.

its surprising that Time fly's

Alternative reeboot titles:
Psycho Animal Babies
[Redacted] Animal Babies
Offensive Animal Babies
Crazy Animal Babies

I got a couple of suggestions for renaming it:

Edgy Animal Babies
[REDACTED] Animal Babies
Pycho Animal Babies

I cannot emphasize how wickedly funny RAB was to me when I was 13 year old...an age of which I absolutely should NOT have been watching! On a pre-YouTube Internet, watching "episode length" web animations was absolutely mind blowing and I remember emailing you - on my school email no less - about your process.

Perusing Newgrounds in general inspired me to treat Flash seriously as a teen and I've since rooted my freelance and some of my full time career in animation, though with less emphasis on Flash these days (for better or worse, that program has stayed relatively unchanged over the last 20 years). So, thanks for all the memories, irreverent, chaotic, and deranged as they may have been.

P.S: I saw [Redacted] Animal Babies mentioned a couple of times in the comments already. I think that's a great tongue in cheek solution, IMO.

I animating your characters dying are you online response. :'(

It's step troll the drunkening!

It's been a wild ride, man. We had it so good with the early web 2.0 humor, we never thought it would end. Now most of the internet has become corporatized and soulless, and the dream to one day reunite humanity through dark humor has shattered. Now, well... we'll see how horribly bland will the future humor of the mainstream internet can get before people get tired and cast it all away.

Thank you for being part of that amazing era. Animators and artists like you inspired two generations to push the envelope of what dark and silly humor can offer. Best of luck in your future projects, Dave!

I just logged on NG for the first time in more than 15 years and RAB brought back so many memories. I can't believe I was watching this stuff as 12-13 year old. Thanks for the memories Dave!

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