Score: 6

"Great song!"

submission: The Ultimate Showdown

date: January 13, 2006

Kudos to Trapezoid for the catchy, fun song.

Otherwise...fartistically tepid. A is for effort though. For homegrown fare it's well above average. But what the fuck do I know, it's the most popular thing here. Clearly I need to re-assess my standards and watch the whole thing again.

Or just take a mayonnaise bath. Which would the rational person do?

Score: 10

"The Best."

submission: Sesame Street Unleashed

date: October 20, 2005

I have seen a lot of crap, but this is the best crap I've ever seen. Insanely funny...very good timing. Very good job, you sick little muppet, you. A+, 5, 10!

Score: 10

"Why 10? Because I'm a fucking egomaniac!"

submission: Retarded Animal BabiesCE1

date: January 8, 2004

Hey, thanks for the stroke. It's great knowing people are spending their whole day working on something just to honor ME!

I ate Rice Krispies for breakfast today! Why do I deserve such honor???

And why did Pico shoot the hamster? Who's this tribute for, anyway? The hamster could SO take Pico. He are monk, for Chrissakes

Score: 5

"Very pretty. That's it, tho."

submission: Arrogancy: Episode One

date: June 8, 2003

I'm going to call this the exact opposite of the last thing I reviewed....that "Parachute" thing. Excellent, top shelf art, but with humdrum spirit and pretty darn unoriginal. More on that later.

You responded to a reviewer today who sort of vaguely labeled this as "dull" work, by separating yourself from "the kids on this site" and saying you were encouraged by them pissing on your head. Well, I'm a 33-year-old fartbag, and for once I'm agreeing with the li'l squirts. But for a different reason other than something like "there's not enuff rat puke, u suk lol."

I'm just sick of people trying to emulate the anime style. This will never make Cartoon Network...are you kidding? You want to draw this stuff for a living? Get the hell out of Detroit and move East about 10,000 miles, consarnit! :o)

Unrelated to this, you're definitely not a voice talent and the narration robbed 99% of the mood you so excellently rendered (I won't deny that for amateur anime, it smoked)...go to some kind of sci-fi convention with a minidisc and record some has-been actor who'd be more than happy to have NG exposure in exchange for a handshake. Or just use subtitling (consequently reducing file size). The only actual empirical dullness (since I'll admit my opinion of the style is subjective)came from your unfortunate delivery of that monologue. Your writing is prefectly fine....it was just...raped.

You're well down the path of your chosen style of wanna-be-anime, and shifting gears now probably seems, well....a shit-ass concept. But nevertheless I want to support your trying something truly unique and original...instead of riding the damn anime bandwagon. You're no different from the squirts if you really think it's going to be the vehicle that lands you your fortune.

You're still a young guy. As I already rambled, I'm about ten years older, but have changed styles about a dozen times since high school(still trying to find one that doesn't totally suck ass!!!). It's an impossible thing to do each time, but it can be done. At least if you did it, some good will actually come of it! You might be surprised. :o)

Be different! You are an AWESOME artist! You can do ANYTHING! Am I just a jealous jackass? You betcha! But my point stands. Take it or leave it. Good luck, sir!