Contact Info / Websites
Hey strangers! You guys would probably like Anything Comics (especially today's episode, which features all the RAB characters!). It's an interactive webcomic where you get to make suggestions (in the form of Facebook comments) for what you'd like me to draw. Keep it cool and thanks for continuing to enjoy RAB animations after 13 solid years on Newgrounds!
No new RAB episodes are planned by the way; this series was retired five years ago. But I do appreciate all the loyalty to the series and hope you'll continue to support new projects!
I used to make this series back about eight hundred trillion years ago called Retarded Animal Babies. Life events spanning a dozen years prevented any more than only 23 episodes to have been made for the series (slacker!), but it was a fun, sporadic, and rewarding ride. There are still a lot of fans out there; enough to have made the DVD sell out at the Newgrounds store. I still have a small box of them left, so I've once again made the DVDs available for sale on my website umop.com, but once they're gone, they're gone.
RAB used to always shoot up to the #1 spot in the Portal ten years ago, and as the first few vanguard episodes were uploaded in 2003, viewers very early on were split cleanly into "love" and "revile" categories (with around 95% being in the first category, thankfully). Eventually though, the heyday ran its course. As more time rolled by, it was becoming clear that the series wasn't aging very gracefully, and a new category of viewers - specifically the "meh" category - were starting to represent a larger and larger pie slice. I never stopped being in the "love" category myself, as tough as it was to fit animating-for-fun into my daily routine. But the viewership dropped, interest in a second DVD was sparse, and I was more demanding on myself than ever to deliver bigger & better entertainment on a shoestring budget (did you know I made the first one in 29 hours? Episode 23 took half a year...). I was fighting a losing battle to keep my disgusting little fingerless friends alive! Plus, I had already become a much bigger fan of the new Portal offerings than I was a fan of my own.
That's when I knew it was time to just let it go. I'm proud of the series, for all its filthy horror. I don't have anything else to prove with it. It kicks balls. I love that I made it. I'm proud that I was able to keep it as fucked up and raw as it is, and thankful for a site like Newgrounds to allow it to exist at all.
So now it's been, what? Four years? Four years since the last episode came out... and you know, I still connect with people routinely about RAB. And never once is it a person from the "hate" or even the "meh" categories! In fact, out of around 150 people at my new job in New York, there are fully three people there that are RAB fans!
And I even sold a DVD just three days ago (no, not to a work colleague...).
So, it's like... is it dead? Is it alive? Is it all just in the past? The answer to all of those questions is YES. The series itself is in the past, but the conversations about it are still happening. This has inspired me to (finally, heh) create a Facebook page for Reatrded Animal Babies. I'll stick weird old shit in there from time to time, and we can all talk about the show, and you can all drop by once in a while and bark at me to make new stuff.
And maybe someday, who knows? If the barking is loud enough, and it happens regularly enough, who the fuck knows.
I would personally prefer any presumed future of RAB to involve getting back to the fun randomness that made the series what it was back in 2003. As much as I loved (along with most of the fans who cried out for episodes that were "nice and long") the episodic nature of 21, 22, and 23, RAB wasn't ever originally about storytelling; it was about bash-yourself-in-the-face-with-a-dildo-made-of-solid-osmium stupidity.
It was about being "retarded" in every glorious, insensitive context that terrible, wonderful, fucking curse (this word alone helped create RAB's popularity while preventing its further success) of a word evokes.
It is admittedly without much fanfare that my series "Retarded Animal Babies" turns TEN FUCKING YEARS OLD TODAY!
Yep, on April 6, 2003, RAB's first episode got uploaded to the burgeoning portal of Newgrounds, and got way, WAY more attention than I thought it deserved to get.
Tom and I briefly talked about making an event for RAB today, possibly with the inclusion of a long-overdue (or not at all called for in the slightest) 24th episode. The last one came out... when? Two years ago? I scripted and started storyboarding something for RAB24... it's not bad, not particularly inspiring, either... Then again, none of my scripts really started out that great... the fun stuff usually ended up happening while I was animating & coming up with last-minute crazy shit. I'm sure that would have been the case with this episode.
Anyway, life, work, being 43 and nowhere near as creative as my 33-year-old self (and certainly not the animators on this site half my age with 100x as much hunger to create free animation work!)... all got in the way, and now here we are with nothing but this post and I think perhaps a few beers later tonight to commemorate the millions and millions of views RAB got this past decade.
So... cheers to the Newgroundsers who still remember & like RAB... you all dragged out as much content from me as I was mentally and temporally able to generate for the site. As far as RAB24 goes, I can't promise it'll ever actually get made but I'll never say die, either.
You know what... I think I will do something special for you guys tonight. Fuck it.
If you even recognize my user name, you probably are wondering if there'll ever be another episode of Retarded Animal Babies. I would reply with an equally relevant question: why the hell would you want one? There are 23, with each one being less and less popular than the one before. Every time I try to figure out new ways to milk the series, I end up checking my email or making a T-shirt or something else equally world-conquering. I announced plans for a 2nd DVD about a year ago, but after getting five pre-orders over a period of two months (the 1st DVD got 500!), I canceled all plans for one. Sad but true!
I would eventually like to make a different series, but animating isn't my #1 interest these days (can you tell?). I'm actually working on a new monthly comic book idea, and also a BIG book for my monthly comic strip "the Packrat" that appears in Keyboard Magazine, due out in January. So you see, I am still artistically busy; I just prefer doing things more fulfilling than trying to go back to the RAB well and come up with a worthwhile story (or even just weird series of imagery not already done before) for characters you probably enjoyed much more in way back in 2003 anyway!
I never, EVER say die, but man... it certainly does feel like RAB's time has passed. Not even Tom has gotten back to me about this topic in a while... and if he doesn't care, why should you or I? He's 100% right to back-burner this series; it has had its time in the sun and there are so many newer, better things to watch on Newgrounds these days. But I'm glad for the popularity it had, I'm glad it's still getting watched once and a while, and I'm really glad that you're somehow right here, reading this. If you're new to the series, be sure to check everything else out on umop.com because there is honestly a mega-dump shitload of stuff from over the years, some of which you might even like more than Puppy's nutsack (hard as that is to imagine).
This ain't no goodbye. Shit, half of today's Newgroundsers wouldn't even call it a hello, since they probably never heard of me. I still drop by and check things out in the Portal from time to time. Hope to see you there soon!
So there's this brand new, microscopically tiny social media site out there called Zurker. It promises to out-do Facebook in a few years, mostly because instead of one billionaire running the show, the site grants partial ownership free of charge to all new members, making it a democratic, all-for-one kind of thing.
Right now there's only around 1,000 members, but I've gotten on board with a few other sites early in their life, including Fark.com and a certain animation website notable for stick figure animations and pants-shitting donkeys. I've become able to see potential for big things, and this is just such a place. Get in on the ground floor now, even if you don't really use the site for anything just yet. It's like when people bought up plots of land on the Moon for $5 each back in the '70s and '80s. The chances of actually using that land are slim, but hell, if they're giving it away now, even if the chance is remote it'll ever really amount to anything, fuck it, I'm in.
You get a vShare for every friend you refer. I'm up to around 670 thanks to my having animated this little tutorial video featuring Hamster from Retarded Animal Babies. If Zurker ever reaches the status of Facebook or even MySpace, the value of these shares will make me a millionaire, since I got on board so early.
I will then finally have the time & resources to either 1) make another RAB film, or 2) stop worrying about ever making anything ever again.
Would you like to be able to purchase a LEGO SET designed by me? Well, first you and 9,999 other people have to support it over at LEGO CUUSOO. It's a giant, 500-piece Space Station designed to evoke the "Classic Space" look of 1978-1980, when the world was basically a better place all around. Go check it out and click "SUPPORT!"
I know, I'm like a 9-year-old.
Here's a fun little video side project I've been working on: MOTHER-IN-LOL. This week's installment is called "Cthulhu Fhtagn and Taxes." Fans of Chtulhu, taxes, or 69-year-old ladies speaking in Lovecraftian tongue after ranting and raving over a tax bill should find something enjoyable here:
There's also a fiery hell scene ripped off from "The Golden Child," and a cute doggie.
Please subscribe to the MotherInLOL YouTube channel for future updates!
Thanks & enjoy!
The RETARDED ANIMAL BABIES appear in this short film I recently made for Sidsonic Libraries. They're a German music company that makes virtual instruments modeled after crazy Metasonix tube-driven boutique audio gear. You probably don't care about that, but it's OK! The film still has a few funny moments that any RAB fan might enjoy:
It's family-friendly except for some mild violence which an average episode of Family Guy would probably trump.
Guest vocals for the (pink; long story) bunny done by Henning Schonvogel from Sidsonic, Eric the Panda from Metasonix (remember him from RAB21?) appears, and, of course, my wife Lee-Ann voices the big-boobed broad.
I made the music too. Enjoy!
First of all, I'm happy to say that I'm working on a RAB22 script this week after such a great response from my last post! I really think you're gonna like this one!
I'm also making every April (the month celebrating the RAB series anniversary) my own personal "Fan Appreciation Month," and I'll be GIVING AWAY a free RAB DVD to whomever submits the best-looking FAN ART to umop.com!
Head over there now, read the latest update with all the rules about it, add comments using my new embedded Facebook commentary feature, and draw something really kickass in exchange for a free DVD.
Thanks again for all the support!
Today is the seventh anniversary of the day I uploaded the first episode of "Retarded Animal Babies" here on Newgrounds, which has been seen 3.5 million times. HOORAY! This, coupled with the fact that I still get asked every single day (no, really) about when a new episode is coming out, has spurned me this fine Tuesday morning to post not only a long-overdue RAB news update, but to mention where things are headed for me artistically otherwise, and to relate a small bit of interesting news about a corporate project in which you can see the RAB characters in all their poorly-rendered splendor.
YES INDEED, I do want to make RAB22. It exists in my head ("WTF ITS NOT EVEN STORYBOARDED YET YOU COCK PUNCHER") and there are a lot of fun reasons to make it. First of all, I have a great idea for it mapped out & ready to script. I still love writing for & drawing these characters when & if my freelance art career allows the pseudo-annual, comically colonic release of RAB. And I owe it to the fans, as much as I owed them the other 20 sequels (I guess).
1) I'm a lazy sack. That's not news at all.
2) There are now just about as many detractors as there are supporters. Some of them want to see something different, some of them just want me to die. I can accept either of these reasons.
3) After eight years and 21 episodes (not including a couple of somewhat lame contest entries), this dead horse is beaten to a bloody pulp. And the poor thing wasn't even a horse at all, it was a one-trick pony.
4) My hands hurt, Mama. Fetch me some hot tea and a lukewarm muffin stump.
5) I suck at art, and would rather play keytar in a Pagan's Mind tribute band.
So it's a draw (no pun intended). Lots of reasons for RAB21, lots of reasons against it (along with, perhaps, my "mortal retirement").
What about a different project? Well, I recently tried a Hamster-themed webcomic for a little while; got kinda tired of it. I did non-RAB related daily comics for a bit before that, got tired of it. Drew out a few ideas for some flicks here and there, tossed 'em in the trash before they even had a script. See the pattern?
I get bored really easily, which by itself should explain how tough going back to my trusty eight-year-old well might be for me. If I'm ever going to take my art career (and/or hobby) seriously, maybe I need to find an outlet that has some non-puppy-ballsack meaning. Or guess what... maybe I could just choose not to give a crap about "meaning," and simply flatulate my way through life with big titty chicks and dick jokes. Sounds like fun too, doesn't it? Especially for a lazy sack, shouldering daily death threats?
P.S. Oh yeah, the corporate RAB thing. Almost done with it. Not sure if I'll upload it on Newgrounds, so keep regular tabs over at my art site (umop.com) this week. It's for a crazy-cool German music company called "Sidsonic," for a product called "TUBES." It's a virtual instrument based heavily on various Metasonix tube-based boutique audio products. Since I've done a lot of RAB art for Metasonix in the past, the viral video tie-in seems like something that just had to happen. It's pretty funny so far, so stay tuned.
P.P.S. Thanks for watching RAB!